I get irritable. I get grumpy. I sometimes wake up with aches and pains that set me on edge. I have moments when I am not presentable to the outside world. I sometimes don’t smile because I have crooked teeth on one side. I wear out easily. Since adopting our four kids, I have found HUGE holes in my love. I have to lean heavily on the Lord’s love to not give up because adoption is hard. My husband and I fight!! Yep, we fight. We actually have agreed that it is better to work things out than to stuff and remain silent, and sometimes that means that our misunderstandings get heated. But we are committed to working through those struggles. Although I love the Lord and the people around me, I am so darn far from having it together.

I was listening to a missionary friend tell her testimony. Included in the testimony were eating disorders, porn addiction, the need for attention from guys and many other things that could make one feel unworthy of being a missionary. Wrapped in all of these stories was a theme: God loves to redeem us, and He doesn’t tell us to withhold from others until we are perfect. In fact, our imperfections highlight the mercy of God, how He helps us overcome ourselves and how his strength overcomes our weaknesses. He gets the glory for all He does in us.

I had been struggling with my imperfections and wondering if I was the right person to go to the mission field. At the end of my friend’s testimony, I sat quietly and God said to me, “It’s okay to be broken and be in ministry.” That’s all He said, but those words have helped me to move forward with the call He has put on our lives. I won’t always get it right, but my heart definitely desires to be transformed and to bless others. I am pliable, and I love people. I guess God thinks that is enough for me to keep serving, so I will.

Lesson #3: When you’re feeling disqualified, spend time with Jesus. His compassion will remind you that perfection is not the prerequisite to serving and loving others.